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golden rule s.m interview (ゴールデンリターンズ)

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golden rule s.m (ゴールデンリターンズ) has been a helping hand for injuries sustained in SM-play as a SM Manipulative Physician for many years, providing guidance for safe SM-play, instructing on the appropriate methods to deal with numbness generated by compressed nerves, Etc. Since 2011 he has held a SM manipulative open house at his home on a regular basis for people who are suffering any after effects of Kinbaku. He provides his treatment on a voluntary basis to many SM lovers who suffer from SM related accidents, regardless of if they are professional or amateur. golden rule s.m’s website, in Japanese is at http://ameblo.jp/smsikou/

Yuki: As you have encountered many SM related accidents over several years, could you please explain to our readers if you see any common type of injuries, and anything that has changed recently?

golden rule s.m: Most injuries appear when people who do not have much knowledge about human anatomy apply ropes to pressure points or dangerous zones, or tie up really too tightly. Things that have been changing are that formerly most were the after effects of injuries to the nervous system, or sometimes bruising due to failures to suspend correctly. But recently, I have been seeing an increase in rope-bottoms with cracked or fractured bones, and sprains are increasing.

Yuki: In order to better prevent SM related accidents, what should we be aware of, what kind of communication needs to be made, and what kind of things should rope bottoms pay attention to?
golden rule s.m.: First of all, rope tops should learn to relax their rope bottoms and try to achieve a feeling of trust (rapport building), even during natural conversation. Rope tops should synchronize the breathing and bring their rope bottoms to a state of calm before tying. Rope tops also need to check their rope bottoms’ body stiffness, the range of motion in the arms, and any danger zones (e.g. pressure points). At the same time, rope bottoms need to soften up and yield to their rope tops. So what I instruct in my workshops is a warm up exercise for two people incorporating manipulative treatment. I also instruct the ways to make a rope bottom feel relaxed and ready to give themself to the rope top. That is, the rope bottom crosses their hands in front of their chest and the rope top hugs the rope bottom from behind, lay their hands on the rope bottom’s hands, staying for a while and synchronizing breathing together.  I also instruct rope bottoms to do stretching exercises that can be done any time by oneself (especially stretching shoulder blades) in order to promote better flexibility in the body. There are many self-proclaimed sadists who learn rope-play to attract girls or self-proclaimed Bakushi who cannot do proper Kinbaku. As a result many masochists who are looking for a partner get into trouble in meeting places or suffer accidents during play. But the risks can be reduced if they have enough knowledge to gain a proper insight.

Yuki: What has been a major cause of accidents in Kinbaku?

IMG_20151001_091526golden rule s.m: Regarding knowledge and skills, most of the causes of accidents are when people try to do advanced tying and suspensions despite their poor Kinbaku knowledge and skills, and the cases when they have poor knowledge about the causes of the accidents (why it happens, where they should not apply ropes to, Etc.) and basic anatomical body structure. To make matters worse, I would say that even some professionals and instructors also have a poor knowledge about the causes of the accidents. However, many people regardless of if they are professionals or amateurs are making direct contact to learn from me, attend my workshops, or read my blogs. In comparison with four years ago when I started to do these activities, people who now have knowledge regarding the cause of accidents are increasing rapidly, especially most of the Bakushi who go abroad and instruct Kinbaku have a lot of knowledge about accidents. But, when it comes to mental issues, some people are still disregarding accidents. Even if they think they do care about accidents, they can’t afford to when it comes down to it. They forget to relax the other party and synchronize the breathing with each other, and they tie up without figuring out the other party’s body stiffness and physical condition. Many rope tops try to complete their Kinbaku and do not untie the ropes even though their rope bottoms are telling them that it is painful or they are becoming numb. And the worst rope tops are just committed to Shibari itself, and do not think about other the party. They think that rope bottoms are just living mannequins and only an objective of Shibari. Such people do exist in rope meetings, so caution is always needed.

IMG_20151001_091537Yuki: What are some of the danger signs a bottom should look for when they are in rope?

golden rule s.m: When you are attending a rope meeting, watch as many rope tops as you can to carefully determine their experience levels before you choose which one you want to be tied up by. And since you can only see the front while you are getting tied up yourself, at least take some thought and watch the locations of ropes being tied on the upper arms and around the neck. Other danger signs you can only notice by yourself are the feeling that the ropes are tighter than usual, or you have numbness or pain. When you feel something strange, make sure that your sensation is normal by opening and closing the fingers of both your hands. When you become desensitized, it is important to ask the rope top to stop immediately because you have pain or numbness. However, you cannot get into rope space if you care about these things, so I think the best way is to choose a rope top who has a respected technique, knowledge, and mind, and avoid being tied up by others.

Yuki: You have expertise as a manipulative physician, but how did you gain your knowledge and experience?

golden rule s.m: I contracted Paediatric Rheumatology when I was in the third grade of elementary school, and I could not even hold chopsticks and pencils properly. But since I was living in the countryside in the mountains, the country doctor could not identify my disease and only prescribed vitamin supplements and tranquilizers, so I did not recover for more than a year. My father worried so much and took me to a famous manipulative physician in an act of desperation. For the first time there, I felt a little better, so I decided to rely on him. I then became an apprentice to him while going through my rehabilitation, and I trained for years, sometimes staying overnight. This is how I gained the knowledge and experience as a manipulative physician.

Yuki: How do you feel about non-Japanese interest in Kinbaku?

golden rule s.m: I think that it is a very wonderful thing. But, I hear that there are also many accidents and injuries by non-Japanese people. I want them to understand the dangers of Kinbaku.

Yuki: What is it like in your SM manipulative open house?

golden rule s.m: The manipulation is done carefully for one hour per person. But it is not only doing manipulation, we talk about safe SM techniques, Kinbaku accidents, and the realities of various problems. I also instruct how to make the body supple. There are always more than a dozen people talking boisterously, eating snacks and drinking – it is an ambience of a salon with the feel of girls’ night out.

Yuki: Are you opening your home and doing manipulative treatment as a volunteer?

golden rule s.m: Yes, I started my open house four years ago, every weekend at that time. Now I’m holding it at a more moderate pace, but sometimes I do manipulative treatment starting from 1:00pm and finishing at midnight.  Besides, I’m presenting workshops such as how to make the body supple at rope meetings, salons, SM bars, Etc. if there is a request. Of course these activities are all voluntary.

Yuki: What makes you so dedicated?

golden rule s.m: I can’t bear to think of people suffering from the after effects of Kinbaku accidents. Moreover, there is no place where we can learn how to do sexual communication properly, and talking about sex has been considered as an obscene and imprudent thing, although they are very important things in all of our lives. But, there are so many people who are stumped about sex, and many men get the wrong idea. I would like to help people with these problems as much as I can.

Yuki: You say that you are also a sadist, but when did you recognize it?

golden rule s.m: At the time of my first sexual experience, I was told that my sex is different from other people. That brought me to recognize my sexual predilection.

Yuki: In conclusion, could you please give any message to people who are enjoying, or are going to enjoy Kinbaku and SM.

golden rule s.m: When people who tie cause an accident, most of the cause is due to lack of communication. Unlike wearing other restraints, Kinbaku is a thing to enjoy together with communication and the reactions of the rope bottoms and the way this changes the play. However, many people are too concentrated on being committed to the tying, and forget the most important part: to relate to each other and watch the reactions. What you are going to tie up is not a parcel. It is a real live person. Body stiffness and range of motion in the arms and shoulders differ from person to person, and also vary depending on physical condition of the particular day. This is the best part of tying up a real live person. If you take care only about the form of Shibari, you can only enjoy a fraction of Kinbaku. Then you can hardly switch on a rope bottom’s masochism. Nowadays many very good Japanese Bakushi are going abroad and teaching Kinbaku. Please learn not only the techniques but also the mental things to enjoy Kinbaku more. If you are a SM beginner, please read at least one book about psychology and one SM related book before you start SM.  Then you will understand that restraints, ropes, whips, and so on are just convenient auxiliary devices. You will find out that psychological communication with the other is the most important and exciting part of SM. When you get it, even if your partner thinks that she is normal, you can make her into your own lovely masochist. I have been doing Kinbaku Accident workshops and Erogenous Development and SM basic workshops in Japan for years. If you have any chance to come to Japan, please feel free to contact me. Bye for now, and please enjoy your wonderful SM life.

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