Nureki Chimuo Archive

2008.7.14 濡木痴夢男のおしゃべり芝居 第四十七回 Nureki Chimuo’s Talking Theater Chapter 47 性生活ではありません It’s not about a sex-life This time, we’ll share another letter from someone who read “Bondage: As Long as I Live.” Unusually, it’s from a woman. Looking at the response to my five paperback books published by Kawade Shobo Shinsha, it seems I have quite a few female readers, yet it’s rare for any of them to take the trouble to write me a letter. This one arrived in an envelope via the publisher, written in computer font on A4 paper, laid out horizontally. Even when emails are neatly formatted with computer text, I deliberately transcribe them by hand onto manuscript paper, and then R-san retypes them into computer text for publication. This is an incredibly roundabout, inefficient process, but since I have absolutely no desire to learn word processing, there’s nothing to be done about it. As I confessed last time, gripping a familiar pen with my right hand and writing each character one by one serves, in my case, as training for the fingertip sensations required to manipulate the ropes binding a woman’s body. Once you grow accustomed to stringing words together on a word processor, the subtle sensation of rope on your fingertips as they touch the skin of a living, breathing woman’s body is lost. The sensation of fingers creating words with a pen, and the sensation of binding a woman’s body vividly and tantalizingly with rope, they seem identical. Well, this might just be my own personal belief. Once you grow accustomed to writing with your fingertips on keys, you may feel a strange illusion, as if the delicate scent and eroticism of SM were escaping from the ropes you handle with those same fingertips.

So, this time, it’s a letter we received from B-san (we’ll refer to her as B-san for now.) As usual, I’ve obscured any parts that might be considered personal information. I will proceed with the utmost caution to avoid causing any inconvenience. ＊ ＊ ＊ Once, for a magazine shoot, I had the honor of being tied up by Nureki Sensei as a model. Just once, though. It was for a page for N Club’s “Restraint Techniques Workshop,” but everyone, from Nureki-san to the photographer and staff, were so cheerful and loved to joke around, making it a really fun day of shooting. After that, during a video shoot for another company, I was subjected to terrible treatment that went against what was promised, which left me emotionally scarred, and I quit modeling. Then once, at the entertainment hall inside Yuen Land in Koiwa, Edogawa Ward, I saw Nureki-san shaking hands with a female impersonator from a popular theater troupe, both of them looking very happy. Thinking he’d surely forgotten all about me, I kept quiet. I purchase and read every book by Nureki Sensei as soon as it is published. It was only once, but that shoot was truly enjoyable and remains an unforgettable memory. This time, the book was overwhelmingly explicit in its sexual descriptions, far more so than any previous Kawade Bunko release, to the point of being downright vulgar. I flipped the cover over and read it on my daily commute, but even on the pages with just text, I felt my heart racing, conscious of the stares from the people around me. I’ve gained a clear understanding of Nureki Sensei’s sex life. (?)53 I thought it was pretty impressive that he always carries three thin ropes in his bag instead of a folding umbrella. I thought to myself, there are some strange people in this world. This question mark is in the original blog, unclear if it was added by A-san or later by Nureki as he transcribed it.

But I thought it was a fitting appearance for Nureki Sensei. From the sensei’s sex life (?), I felt like I really understood his perspective on SM. I felt something akin to the sensei’s way of life. I felt as if I knew everything about you (though I suppose it would be rude to say so). I felt as if I had glimpsed just a little of the profound depth of SM. Reading Nakahara Rutsu-san’s commentary gave me a clearer understanding of the breadth and depth of Nureki Sensei’s life. Among the five books I’ve had the pleasure of reading from Kawade Shobo, I knew you were an author, but I had no idea you’d led such a “frenzied writing life.” I haven’t read any of Nureki Sensei’s novels at all (though I recall reading something like a novel in a previous Kawade Bunko edition, was that his work?), so this time I definitely want to read the novels mentioned in this “commentary.” If I go to the Sex Industry Museum, will they let me read it? Reading the commentary, it seems there are quite a variety of genres and forms within SM novels, something I was completely unaware of. Why have all those SM novels covering various genres disappeared nowadays? When I hear “SM,” I immediately think of something that lewdly violates a woman’s body and mind, inflicting pain and causing injury. I think that’s because of my one-time experience appearing in a video. There are all kinds of SM, aren’t there? Come to think of it, that shoot with Nureki-san was incredibly warm, sweet, and enjoyable. That’s why I can’t forget it. I plan to visit the Sex Industry Museum next time and read various SM novels. ＊ ＊ ＊ That is all. B-san, thank you for your candid feedback.

Is that so? So reading my “Bondage: As Long as I Live” tells you about my “sex life?” This is a bit of a problem. That wasn’t my entire “sex life,” B-san. It was just a passing moment, a small scene, if you will. I don’t do that kind of thing every single day. Besides, even if you call it a “sex life,” in my case, it ultimately revolves around ”rope.” Without the rope, no matter how beautiful a woman gets naked and approaches me, nothing will happen. First of all, it won’t work unless the rope exists. Many people misunderstand this point. Several years ago, when I discussed this matter with the editor-in-chief of a publishing house that releases numerous SM-related magazines and books, they simply couldn’t understand. Finally, they said to me, “You keep talking about ropes, ropes, ropes, but isn’t what you really want just sex?” They said this with a blatantly contemptuous look directed at me. I decided I couldn’t get this person to understand, so I’d stop having these kinds of conversations with him. (I wrote about this somewhere before, but his contemptuous laugh was so awful that I couldn’t help but write about it again out of sheer frustration.) In this “Talking Theater,” if I start writing about this kind of thing, it’ll just get ridiculously long again, so I’ll stop here. As I wrote before, ultimately, we are the indigenous people of “SM Island,” and to the tourism operators who find this amusing and use it to attract customers, we are nothing more than one of their tourist attractions. So, B-san, what you referred to as my “sex life” is nothing grand like that, it’s merely a “journey through ropes.” But I was really happy to hear your interesting thoughts. Thank you very much. Please write something again sometime. Your writing is interesting.

If you happen to see me somewhere around town, please say hello next time. I’ll be happy to chat. Still, to be caught in such an outrageous situation, holding hands with a female impersonator from the popular theater troupe while grinning like an idiot, was truly embarrassing. Actually, this is a secret, but last night I went to that very same popular theater where you saw me, together with R-san.