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I Die Before My Lord’s Horse

主君の馬前に死す

About half a year ago, no, perhaps even longer, I was approached about this project and have been preparing ever since. The time has finally come to begin writing “The World of Minomura Ko” (working title), co-authored by myself and Rutsu Nakahara

This will be an original work of approximately 300 pages in paperback format, published by Kawade Shobo Shinsha.

It is a long-established publisher with a solid and distinguished track record, having previously published six of my manuscripts as paperbacks.

For a lowly hack like me, it feels like an undeserved honor to be associated with such an authoritative and historic publisher. Perhaps this will become my life’s work.

I wrote that I spent over half a year preparing after receiving the offer, but the one actually doing the preparation was Nakahara Rutsu-san.

I, in fact, did nothing. I was doing other things.

(By “other things,” I mean I was writing pieces like this “Talking Theater” here and there, or filming for the reopening of “Kinbiken,” but I intend to write about that separately.)

I left all the preparation for writing “The World of Minomura Ko” entirely to Nakahara Rutsu-san.

The volume of work by Minomura Ko, a painter, writer, and editor who displayed outstanding talent, is immeasurable, and his other activities spanned a vast range.

Records of his almost superhuman work ethic are preserved in printed form at the Sex Industry Museum.

It’s only natural that Nakahara Rutsu-san, the director of this museum, is in the most suitable position to gather and organize materials from around 1950, representing the earliest period of Minomura’s work.

Furthermore, beyond her position as director, I am convinced that Nakahara-san, as a pure appreciator of Minomura Ko’s work, is the person best suited to provide the optimal commentary.

Frankly speaking, Nakahara Rutsu’s appreciation is deeper and sharper than mine, despite my history of working alongside Minomura Ko.

She also possesses a cool, precise analytical mind.

Needless to say, Minomura Ko’s artistic world centers on the theme of “SM.”

(I currently detest how this term “SM” is so casually, frivolously, and crudely thrown around everywhere, sometimes even used cynically and contemptuously by comedians, but since there’s no other suitable expression and it’s generally understandable, I reluctantly use it again here for convenience.)

Nakahara Rutsu-san demonstrates profound knowledge and substantial understanding across the entire spectrum of these SM inclinations.

The depth of her knowledge and analytical skill regarding the intricate details of the myriad branches of complex and subtle abnormal preferences leaves even me, who has worked in this field for many years, utterly amazed.

To be perfectly honest, she knows far more than I do.

Despite being about a third of my age, she possesses truly exceptional talent and insight.

How is it possible that she understands the reality and psychology of these people better than I do, someone who has actually interacted with so many enthusiasts?

When I asked a somewhat spiteful question about abnormal sexuality, she answered smoothly. The accuracy and depth of her response stunned me.

“Gah! How can you understand the deep psychology of those enthusiasts just by being in this museum space?!” I nearly fell over in shock.

In May 2008, when my sixth paperback book, “Bondage: As Long as I Live,” was published by Kawade Shobo Shinsha, I humbly requested Nakahara Rutsu-san to write the commentary. Even before that, I had been astonished by her rich and profound knowledge, and how many times I nearly fell off my chair in amazement.

For those who haven’t yet read Nakahara Rutsu’s commentary, “The Other Face of Nureki Chimuo: A Fierce Writing Life,” which I included at the end of this book, I urge you to read it.

When Nakahara-san handed me the manuscript and I read it for the first time, I was so moved that my heart stopped beating. I felt as though I was thinking, “I die for those who know me.” No, that’s not an exaggeration.

If I were a samurai in the Warring States period, “I die before my lord’s horse.” That’s how I felt.

Essentially, had Nakahara Rutsu-san been a warrior clad in armor and helmet, charging across the battlefield upon her horse, I was so moved that I would have gladly seized the reins of that horse, fought the advancing enemy, and died by the sword to protect my lord.

(My descriptions do tend to be theatrical. That’s why I titled this entire piece “Talking Theater.”)

Thanks to Nakahara-san’s commentary, the book “Bondage: As Long as I Live” became a precious volume I will never forget for the rest of my life.

Why did I, a grown adult, feel such profound emotion? Because in that commentary, Nakahara-san acknowledged the things I had written in the past, and with solid, restrained prose, offered such generous praise.

Starting with the now legendary “Kitan Club” and “Uramado,” and continuing through the heyday of “SM magazines,” I wrote an embarrassingly vast number of pieces, novels, picture stories, and essays under numerous pen names.

Most were commissioned by editors and the fees for publishing my manuscripts became my livelihood.

There was a time when I would write anything for the sake of getting paid. I wrote with a single-minded focus on catering to SM.

Those novels, while suitable for publication in abnormal entertainment magazines, were not works deserving of legitimate critical appraisal.

There were times when I felt quite pleased with my writing, but deep down, with each piece I wrote, a sense of inferiority grew.

Adding a dash of abnormality to perfectly ordinary entertainment fiction (naturally, pulp fiction) meant it would get published immediately and I’d get paid.

It was nothing but an easy way to make a living.

I was subservient toward my own writing. I never once thought it was any good. I always felt a sense of shame.

The reason I write under various pen names is because of that subservience and inferiority complex.

Embarrassingly enough, I had aspired to write “pure literature.”

From my late teens to my early twenties, I was a somewhat radical, left-leaning literary youth.

Yet, to earn a living, I survived by writing numerous perverted novels (condemned by society as lowbrow).

Now, Nakahara Rutsu-san has clearly acknowledged these very novels.

I feel a simple, heartfelt gratitude.

This wasn’t some sales pitch or bland praise meant to make my books look good. It was a convincing assessment born from him having sincerely read every single piece of my writing, truly every single one, down to the tiniest, mere few-line passages.

little.

Thanks to Nakahara-san, the inferiority complex I’ve carried all this time has faded a

(It’s not completely gone…my inferiority complex runs deep.)

Adding more words of gratitude to the commentary Nakahara-san wrote might risk sounding like I’m bragging about my own work, so I’ll stop here.

Even if I am a shameless hack writer, I do possess that much sense and discretion.

Nakahara-san's commentary then came to the attention of Fukushima-san at Kawade Shobo Shinsha, leading to the writing of this volume, “The World of Minomura Ko” (again, this is still a tentative title).

I hold feelings for Minomura Ko that are deeper and more intense than those for any blood relative.

When I write about Minomura Ko, there’s always a risk I’ll become overly emotional.

Therefore, Fukushima-san likely decided to structure this new book around Nakahara Rutsu, who possesses the ability to evaluate Minomura’s body of work calmly and objectively, coupled with meticulous and delicate expressive power, as its core.

While there have been several tributes to Minomura Ko’s work since his passing, I anticipate that Nakahara Rutsu will offer a fresh, profoundly thoughtful, and stimulating critical essay. I look forward to it.

Naturally, I am delighted to assist with this project.

Helping Nakahara-san with her work is an immense honor.

If you’ll forgive this theatrical expression, I now feel a surge of passion akin to dying in battle before my lord’s horse as I prepare to begin this new task of cooperating with Nakahara-san.

In my case, while praising Minomura’s works, I also wish to revisit and recount anew the rich and deeply human aspects of his various endeavors.

In any case, thanks to Nakahara-san, the materials on Minomura’s work, from paintings and writings to photographs, have been gathered abundantly and splendidly.

It truly demonstrated the formidable capabilities of the Sex Industry Museum.

First, I wish to begin with the founding story of “Kitan Club.”

And so, from 1946 (Showa 21), when I was a sixteen year old boy, this “Talking Theater” has leaped over sixty-odd years in one go, landing us in 2010.

At present, this is the biggest hot news for me, so I hope you’ll bear with me.